My husband said I’m a “know-it-all”, but he’s wrong.  A know-it-all is someone who expounds with great detail on every subject as if he (and I say “he” because, let’s face it, they’re usually men) were an expert, regardless of his actual expertise.  I, on the other hand, do not claim to know much about very many subjects.  Quite the opposite, in fact.  My husband has arrived at his misguided conclusion not because I present myself as an expert on all things, but because I’m always right.

Yes, you read that correctly.  I’m always right.  Not that I never make mistakes!  No, no, I’m hardly perfect.  I’m just right.  This is the privilege bestowed upon wives by God as compensation for all the stress, frustration, hurt, and anger that are the by-products of  loving a man.  It’s also a little salve on the wound from that whole apple incident.  The snake was a male, after all, who talked a woman into doing something she wouldn’t have done otherwise, all with false promises.  Sound familiar, ladies?

But let’s get back to my being right.   You cannot win an argument with me, especially if you are my husband.  I stick to my subject, I do not enter the battlefield unprepared, and I never surrender.  And because my husband constantly antagonizes the enemy without even realizing it, I usually also have the advantage of surprise.

Now my husband, on the other hand, will stray from the subject, and go for the personal attack.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!  Silly man.  That tactic simply strengthens my stand, and adds to my arsenal.  If the argument is about subject XYZ, then stick to XYZ.  Don’t attempt to disarm me with arrows to the heart.  I will simply pull them out and use them against you. 

Even when I’m wrong, I’m right.   If I am in the midst of discussing an issue about which I feel strongly, and my husband points out an area of weakness in my stance, I can accept that, and I will.  And that, my friend, is his mistake.   When I admit fault on one aspect, but do not concede the battle, my sincerity makes the rest of my argument even more convincing. 

But truly my greatest strength is stamina.  When I am passionate in my belief, I will not surrender.  Men are stronger physically, but when it comes to pure endurance, us ladies have ‘em beat.  Literally.  My poor husband will eventually become so exhausted he will simply concede.  So therefore, even if I were wrong, which I never am, I would be right, by default. 

Fortunately, I never use this privilege of right for wrong.  I only exercise this right to be right when my husband is clearly wrong.  Which, of course, is any time he disagrees with me about any serious issue.  Also, any time he does or fails to do something that results in my feelings being hurt.   But I never, ever abuse this privilege just to puff up my feathers.  That would be wrong, and because I’m never wrong, that would make it right, and making something that wrong right, would be wrong.

Right?